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You Know You`re Norwegian When...

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You know you're Norwegian when...

- You only buy your own drink at the bar even when you are with a group of people.

- You always prepare to catch the closing door if following closely behind somebody.

- If a stranger on the street smiles at you, you assume that the person is

a) drunk

b) insane

c) American

d) all of the above

- You don’t think silence is awkward :-)

- You use “Mhmmm” as conversation filler.

- You actually believe that there is no such thing as bad weather, only bad clothing!

- You know Norway’s results in the last three years in the “Melodi Grand Prix” song contest (Eurovision Song Contest).

- It seems nice to spend a week in a small wooden cottage up in the mountains, with no running water and no electricity.

- You know at least five different words for describing different kinds of snow.

- An outside temperature of 9 degrees Celsius (45F) is mild in mid June.

- You have only two facial expressions; smiling or blank.

- "Vinmonopolet"

- It’s acceptable to eat lunch at 11.00 and dinner at 15.00.

- It no longer seems excessive to spend $100 on drinks one night.

- You know that “religious holiday” means “let’s get pissed”.

- You enjoy the taste of lutefisk and cod prepared in any way, including fried cod tongues.

- You like to wrap your hotdog in a cold pancake.

- You associate warm rice porridge with Saturday and Xmas eve.

- You wear sandals with socks. Yes, you do.

- It feels natural to wear sport clothes and backpack everywhere, including the cinema, bowling alley, and to church.

- You find yourself speaking halfway Swedish with Swedes.

- You can’t understand why foreigners haven’t heard about Bjorn Daehlie.

- You don’t question the habit of always making “matpakke”.

- You know the meaning of life has something to do with the word “koselig” (cosy).

- You get scared when a stranger randomly starts up a conversation with you.

- You vigorously defend whaling and enjoy consuming whale meat.

- You have two cars, a cabin and a boat, if not more.

- You think it’s weird if a house isn’t wooden.

- You associate Easter with cross-country skiing with friends and family in the familys mountain cabin.

- You are shocked if it’s not 2 months of snow every year, at least!

- You can see mountains and the ocean, no matter where you are.

- You expect all dinner parties and meetings to start precisely on time, if not before.

- You fall 3 meters, and don’t get hurt. If you do, you’re not worried at all.

- You get your hands on Norwegian chocolate and guard it with your life.

- You are more afraid of the customs than terrorists.

- You would rather miss your flight than not have enough time to buy the duty free alcohol quota.

- You order drinks at Gardemonen (Oslo Intl Airport) at 6 am.

- You actually think that fishballs have taste.

- You barbecue when it’s raining.

- You have bad conscience if you’re not outside when it’s sunny.

- You get dozy after only two days of sun.

- You go for a swim when it’s only 12 degrees Celsius (53F) in the water and claims that it’s “fresh”.

- You are proud to be Norwegian -- and you pass these jokes on to all your Norwegian and Norwegianophile friends!

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